i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
