There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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