woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
