hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
