How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
