escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
