Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Barsexuality is the new black.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
