i permit you to call me
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
