let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
