a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
