Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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