i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
