no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Boobs are out for the taking
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
