Well apparently he's into motor boating.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
