My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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