Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
