so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
My balls are so social today.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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