My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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