you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
