I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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