So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
You don't make any sense
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