Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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