wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Randomize
