I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
