So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
