I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
