And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
