I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
She's the barista slut.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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