i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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