you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Church boner. Awkwardddd
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
