you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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