I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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