I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
