So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
