i would punch a child for taco bell
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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