just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
