So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
When did angry sex become our thing?
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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