You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
