Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
