I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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