mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize