You smell like a Billy Joel song
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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