I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
