i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
