Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize