he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
