so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
