what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Dick very happy bro
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
