I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
