That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
