Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
