I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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