You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
