I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Randomize