I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
