Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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