what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Say something about gay babies.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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